For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
