it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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