I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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