Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
