your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
