god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
