How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
third nipple confirmed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
