Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
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I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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