well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
