She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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