So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
