so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
