so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
