dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
