I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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