Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
