Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
