wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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