i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
