i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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