Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
