I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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