No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
