There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize