how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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