hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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