it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
