Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
