i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
either way he was missing a nipple.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
