whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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