Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize