Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
