Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize