we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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