he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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