We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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