i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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