i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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