Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
