I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
