Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize