did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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