they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
