careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
