If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this beer tastes like vomit already
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
