He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
