i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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