she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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