Umm I'm too high to move.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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