If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
