im drinking this country out of the recession.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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