Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
