You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
