Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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