where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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