If i come over, it means nothing
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
