Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
