Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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