i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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