He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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