I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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