I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
