But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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