need another drink. this is the easiest way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
