i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
