took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
