I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
